Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
