my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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