Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize