maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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