did you get engaged???
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
