I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
