Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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