I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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