Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
