idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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