ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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