I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Be still, my beating vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
