So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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