I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
