I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
