My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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