How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
wow bdsm is so cute
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
