I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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