Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
