Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
