At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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