thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
