The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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