note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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