There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
