You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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