Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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