I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
