he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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