is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
