You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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