After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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