other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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