Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
