its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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