winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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