Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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