How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found your dick twin last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
