that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
