so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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