He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
