We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
