He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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