He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I got inside last night via doggy door
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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