Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
