38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
