Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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