We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
