first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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