I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
