My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it glows. i had to have it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize