so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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