I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
