omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also, beer. Big fan.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
