Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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