jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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