I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
