Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
