it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
