fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
