I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
