Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
