pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
