i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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