are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
