but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
