can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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